All your emotions are legit

 

Have you ever been in a situation where you were upset, really upset, feeling an intense anger growing inside you, for "no reason"? A situation where you were thinking "Oh my God, I shouldn't feel that way, it's not that bad." 

Or, let's take a different example. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt sad, or maybe "depressed", without any motivation, and your brain started to think "Oh come on, some people or dying under the bombs in the world, who am I to complain?" 

If you have, you suppressed your emotions. And this is a mistake (do not get me wrong, I am not blaming anyone here, I am myself an emotion suppressor). This is why. 

A quick disclaimer here: once again, this is based on my personal experience, I do not claim to give the absolute truth (if such a thing even exists), I am just sharing. 

What happened to your emotion once you suppressed it? For a long time, I thought it was simply gone. Which would make our lives much easier, right? But that's wrong. Awfully wrong. I believe that everyone has an emotion storage unit, where one stores all the suppressed emotions. The problem is that this unit is not infinite, and soon, it will be full. At this moment, when you continue to suppress what you feel, and therefore try to fill again your emotions storage unit, its walls will start to crack. What's the problem with that, you might ask. Well, it is rather simple: the storage unit is your body. Maybe not your entire body, maybe a specific location. If you are not aware yet of where your suppressed emotions are, I invite you to close your eyes for a moment, take a deep breath, and drag gently your attention at the top of your head. Then, gently move your attention from the top of your head, down to your toes, very slowly, very gently. Pay attention to any physical sensation you might feel, without judgement. Once this is done, think about an upsetting situation that happened lately, and about the emotion it created. Let this emotion grow. Most likely, your will feel it somewhere in your body. Where is it? Do you feel it? Bingo, you found your storage unit. 

Now you might remember feeling some discomfort, or some pain in this area in the past. This is because the storage unit is full, and your body is letting you know that it is the case. Always remember, your body talks to you. A lot, actually. If you listen to it, you will uncover a lot of unprocessed emotions, and you will feel much better. The short body scan you just performed is a great way to gain awareness of your body. Awareness. This word again. Yeah, it is an important one. 

Now, you are capable of uncovering previously suppressed emotions. Amazing. However, wouldn't it better to avoid storing them there in the first place? This is all you need to remember form this article: all your emotions are legit. It is ok to be sad, crying, because you dropped a pen on the floor. It is ok to be angry because you missed a bus, even though you are on time, and the next one is in 3 minutes. Stop judging your emotions. Listen to them, acknowledge them, accept them, label them. Would you judge yourself when you feel happy just staring at a mountain? I doubt it. Do you see the pattern here? You are judging your negative emotions, you are pushing them away, thinking that they are not legit. They are. Oh, and by the way, by bottling your emotions like that, you will also live the positive emotions less intensively. And it would be a pity, wouldn't it? 

I pass on the negative impact that bottling has on your body on the long term, I am not a doctor. However, remember only this: all your emotions are legit. You are entitled to feel the way you feel, no matter what you feel. Be careful though, I am not saying that all behaviours are legit. The way you act when feeling a strong emotion is a different story. But we will talk about that another time. 

Here is a little challenge for you this week: every time you feel an emotion, take a second to label it. Do not suppress it. Just give it a name. "I feel sad". "I feel angry". You will realise that this will reduce its intensity straight away. 

Be kind on yourself. You deserve it.