Stop trying to control your pain

 It's 2022. The world is facing a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic, and World War III is probably about to start. Earth seems like the perfect anxiety nest you need right now. Our society is mad. We live in a world where basically everything is about appearance, and therefore control. And control is the source of a lot of issues when it comes to anxiety (or equivalent) recovery. 

Let's talk a little bit about pain. Actually, let's talk about the relationship between pain and control. Suffering from anxiety is basically a mix of different things. But a good summary would be: the input is fear and the outcome is pain. The type of pain does not matter at this point. It could be physical, mental, it is still pain. And none of this is controlled. 

During a panic attack, you might experience of lot of different things, but the recurrent one would be the fear of an imminent death. The fear is so intense, that you feel pain in your body, you can't breathe, your chest hurts, maybe even your left arm. You lose control. And the more control you lose, the more afraid you get. And you enter in a vicious circle, which is very difficult to exit. 

So let's say you are now a bit aware of what's going on, you know you are suffering from anxiety, you know it's painful. What does a brain do when its biggest fear is to lose control? It tries everything it can to regain this control. And to do so, it goes for things it knows it has control over. Pain is one of them. You can take a soft example. You just broke up, you are sad. Chances are that you are gonna listen to some very sad piece of music. Who doesn't like to come back to a good old Fix You or Yellow when times get rough? But why? Why on Earth would you impose yourself a song that would drag you even more down that you already are? Easy: you are now in control. If you press pause, the music stops. Of course, your heart will still be broken, but this is not something your brain wants to think about at this point. You gained control. 

One can take a less soft example (feel free to skip this paragraph if you are sensitive to this kind of things). You are suffering from panic attacks, anxiety, inducing some strong physical pain. What can your brain do? Well, you know the drill: induce some physical pain itself. It could be through some very intense workout. Or it could be by cutting yourself. Let's make it clear here,  I am not talking about suicide. I am talking about controlled pain. When you stick a blade if your arm, you are fully in control (or at least, that's what your brain believes actually) of everything that can happen in the next seconds. Ok, I think you got the point. 

But all of this is bullshit. Your pain is here for a reason. Your pain will make you grow. Your pain is not the enemy. And all of this will become clearer if you do one and only one thing (and if you read the previous posts, you might guess where I am going with this). Listen. Be aware. Accept. By noticing your pain, and labelling it, its intensity will drop already. Give a try, really. Then, once you know it's there, simply welcome it, with a warm heart "Hey you, welcome. You're not my enemy, you're pain, and that's alright". 

Once again, awareness, acceptation, and most importantly, no judgement. It is ok to be in pain. Learn how to listen to it, and grow with it. The more you try to control and resist it, the worse it will get. 

Be gentle to yourself. You deserve it.

You're worth.