What is self-love?

 Most of people think that self-love consists in believing that you are great, smart, beautiful, etc... And some of us might be struggling with such ideas. 

Thankfully, this is not self-love. Being right here, right now, reading this post in the present moment, is an act of self-love. You probably landed here cause you are struggling with your mental health, or you are looking for some ways to grow as a person. You are looking for solutions. And this, this exact fact here, is self-love. You are taking care of yourself, you are doing what is good for you. And this is the first step on your journey towards well-being. 

Deep inside, if you listen to your intuitions, you know that some things are good for you, while others are not. What keeps you from listening to your intuitions? What happened in your life that you do not trust yourself anymore?

For me, those are questions that are of prime importance when it comes to self-love. I believe your body knows what is self-love. And your body talks to you. Your guts talk to you. So, will you listen? 

If this sounds abstract, let me guide you through an example I am struggling with almost everyday. Imagine the following situation: it is Friday. You had a really rough week at work. Very stressful, very tiring. You didn't sleep well. At all. Now, it is 7 pm, and your phone rings: your friends are waiting for you in your favourite bar. Your entire body tells you: "Dude, we are tired, we need a quiet night, maybe a movie, a book, some relaxing time by yourself, to wind down, from this tiring week." The problem is that other parameters enter in line at this point: social pressure, dopamine addiction, attraction for alcohol... It is true that reading a book sounds way less fun than going out with your friends for a couple (or more) of drinks. Do not get me wrong here: we need to have fun, to go out, to have some drinks sometimes. But when your guts are yelling, crying for help, the truth is that you would not choose to go out to have fun. You would go out to shut down the yelling coming from your body. You know what you need. And yet, you ignore it. How many times have you been in this situation? And most importantly, why?

Because you are afraid of being the lame guy of the group? Come on, by choosing to stay home, you are probably the coolest. You made the self-love choice. You listened to your body, to its needs. And that is already a big proof of self-awareness. Self-awareness. We are gonna talk a lot about that here. 

But I am deviating from the topic. My point was the following: listen to yourself. This is self-love. If you listen to yourself, and if you trust yourself, you will make the right choice, the choice of self-love. 

One last thing, because this is a place of kindness, and I do not want you to start building guilt if you actually chose the beers last Friday at 7 pm. Because that is the mistake I do. No, it is alright. At the end of the day, you can always find some positive goals those beers eventually serve. 

Finally, to close this example, again, the point is not to tell you not to go out. The point is to understand when it is possible to go out. The point is: listen to yourself. Love yourself. 

Be kind on yourself, be patient. You are worth, you really are. 

FoI