You are enough !

 

Do you sometimes feel like nothing you do is good enough? Do you feel like there is always something to improve? Something new to learn or a new skill to acquire? Do you have a love/hate relationship towards inspirational posts from people about their achievements? Are you overwhelmed with the endless possibilities of our modern life?

I definitely have to admit that all these things have plagues me for a long time and I have my moments where all these thoughts come racing back and clutter my mind. I then lose track of what is humanly possible and set myself up for disappointment. Plus, the goals that I am chasing in these moments often aren't even things I would really like to spend so much time on. Overworking leads to feeling numb and paralysed and not even feeling interested in pursuing the things I actually enjoy. Here are the three things I do to tackle self-doubt and the perfectionism seeking part in me: 

1. Gratitude journal 

As it was mentioned already on the blog, writing a gratitude journal every day helps to improve your general positive outlook on life. However, I would like to mention a little twist towards the typical journaling that many do. Write down three things daily you are grateful for that have done for yourself or others, to-dos you have finished, achievements (big or small), compliments you have gotten or just simple things like taking time for yourself. 

You might ask me now, whether is is egoistic and self-centered to do so. I would disagree, because the purpose here is not to convince others of your greatness, the sole essence here is to open your eyes again to the small things that you are doing really very well every single day, that you can be proud of and that are worth noting. It also helps me to see how far I have come with projects and that I am minimising my achievements. 

2. 3-goals-of-the-week

For a long time, I only planned to-dos for the day itself or the next day. But I started making weekly and monthly to-do lists, inspired by a project management course I have taken years ago. First, I thought this would add pressure, because I had all these goals to achieve written down and now suddenly the pressure wouldn't only be in my head to accomplish more, but also on paper. Additionally, I thought that not reaching the goals would leave me even more sad and disappointed about myself. But the opposite happened! These goals made me look back at the end of the week or the end of the month and for the first time, give me space to see how much I have actually managed to do. Especially when the to-do list is constantly expanding and there never seems to be an end, it is good to show oneself that there is progress. It also helps you to design smarter and more realistic goals for the future. 

3. Calming anxious thoughts through meditation

I know that also meditation has been mentioned on this blog a couple of time, but I want to share my approach on days where I feel crushed by the amount of work and my perceived failure of not "doing enough". On those days, I dim the lights, I sit on my yoga mat, get a blanket to not be cold and turn on calming music. Personally, I like to listen to nature sounds or quiet piano music (any of the already existing Spotify playlists will work). Also, whatever else you find calming or even sitting in silence does work, of course. Then I take three deep breaths and close my eyes. To settle into your meditation, you can either do a body scan or just try to relax your body, really try to arrive arrive in your body. 

For the rest of the meditation, I try to take a step back from my racing mind and assume the position of an observer and just let my mind ramble on. As an objective observer, I tell my mind/myself every now and then "you are okay", "you've got this", "everything is under control", positive affirmations that you would give to a friend who is stressed and is seeking your support. The goal here is not to stop thinking, the goal is to give yourself the time to accept these worries and self-doubts. You are enough! When your mind had calmed down a bit, you can also try to add in reasoning why certain worries are nonsense and try to dispute any negative assumptions that you have, e.g. "I did not finish task X, I am a failure" - "Yes, you didn't finish this task, but you were working on finding a solution to this problem for multiple hours today, and you will try again tomorrow". At the end of the meditation, I feel freed from the worst doubts and worries and can come back to the present moment and see life more clearly. I hope you will too. 

E.